Updated: Mar 19
Right now, I should be married and fully enjoying my husband celebrating that the wait is over. But as y'all know, the world was hit with something no one was prepared for. Due to travel being banded into the Dominican Republic and the safety and concern of our family and friends, we had to cancel the wedding. Now before we get into detail about what we’ve decided to do and why we decided it, here’s the review of the week.
So the wait continues….
When we knew we were going to have to cancel the wedding I had a whirlwind of emotions. I was happy that I didn’t have to stress over the dance routine, my dress, meeting my fitness goals, and all the small things that come with planning a wedding. I thought, well this is cool, at least now I can take my time with these things.
But then I realized that canceling means there's no telling how much longer the wait will last. I started to do the math of how many years it's been that I’ve gone with sex and how many years we’ve gone as a couple without sex. It seems crazy when you think about it.
Then I started to think, what are we waiting for exactly? The point of waiting until marriage is so that you properly prepare for the unity while also confirming the person is right for you with no distractions or cloudy judgment. But at this point, we have fully prepared. We did over a year of marriage counseling, we’ve lived together almost our whole relationship, we are best friends and are certain we want to spend our lives together.
We know God approves of our unity. We just have to make it official. So you would think, why not just go get married? And being honest, I thought the same thing at 1 point. But I have never wanted to get married in a courthouse and miss out on the full experience of enjoying and remembering my fairy tale wedding day.
We have been planning this fairy tale wedding for over 2 years. I’ve been imaging my big day and I don’t think it’s worth throwing away because of the feeling or desire I have to have sex.
I have the rest of my life to have sex but I only have 1 opportunity to experience my wedding day and create a day that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life and one day share with my children and grandchildren.
Marriage to me is not a piece of paper. I understand that legally that’s important but it’s honestly just a piece of paper. Especially when you know you would choose this person with or without a legal obligation to them.
Think about it. That paper doesn’t stop someone from cheating or from ending a marriage, it only makes the act of leaving them financially difficult and legally a pain in the butt. When God created marriage he didn’t mention a contract for you to sign. He mentions the true meaning of love, marriage, and commitment and how vows should not be broken within the unity.
So when we get married neither of us wants to remember the day that we sign the legal paperwork, who cares about that? We want to remember the day that our family and friends traveled out of the country to witness a day where we vow to ourselves AND God in front of all of our loved ones to love each other for the rest of our lives. We want to remember the day that we were finally husband and wife and our first time being intimate together.
We want photos and videos of the magical moment that we can have and cherish as we grow old. If we wanted to get married at the courthouse, we wouldn’t have planned an entire wedding and trip for our loved ones.
When I announced on social media that we were going to continue our wait I asked my followers for their opinions just because I love and appreciate everyone and their support or differences in opinion.
A lot of people were in total support of it and others said that there’s no point in waiting and large weddings are overrated. Which I totally understand. Everyone has their own opinions and knows what would make them happy.
For Dre and I, we felt that if we got legally married before our actual wedding ceremony, it would make the ceremony feel fake. Like a show.
We don’t want to feel that way.
We’ve waited so long already that to throw it all away just to have sex seems ridiculous. What the heck is romantic or magical about signing papers at a courthouse and then coming home and randomly having sex? That’s not how I pictured my first time with Dre.
Our entire wait has been intentional and our commitment is to God. God did not draft up that contract and send it down from the heavens so the thought of signing it just to have sex made me feel sick to my stomach.
At this point, our wait it purely continuing because we know that we want to vow to each other in front of God and our loved ones. Not on zoom or IG live but in a person with the people who matter most to us. The people who will be a part of the rest of our lives.
We aren’t just marrying each other, we’re marrying our families and friends. So many of our loved ones have never even met before because they live in totally different places. Our wedding is a way to bring everyone in one place and fellowship and turn up in celebration of our wait and our unity.
If I have to wait another year to have that, I say it’s worth it!
Our wait allows us to continue putting all our focus on our business, our relationship, and our individual goals. We are thriving in all areas of our lives right now and I know a huge reason for that is our discipline. A discipline that comes from being laser-focused, patient, and consistent.
Not that that will end once we start having sex but we definitely plan on enjoying life a whole lot more once we are married. We will be spending a lot of time just traveling and continuing to learn about each other in a more intimate and physical way.
So the more we focus and stay disciplined now, the harder we play once we reach our big day.
I am so excited for the day where I finally get to give myself fully Dre. In my eyes, he’s already my husband. I don’t need a human-created piece of paper to prove that to me. What I do need, is the experience of vowing in front of God and the people we love most.
So the wait continues!
What are your thoughts on this???